i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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