New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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