I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
