You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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