i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
