So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hippo gnu deer
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
