At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
