they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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