She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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