Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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