what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
