If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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