I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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