a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Acid is not a monday night drug
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
