I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
