Porn is love you can see.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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