Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
