Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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