Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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