party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
