he shaved USA in his pubs
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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