She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
