My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
