i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
