I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
