lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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