you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
