My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize