he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
