so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
