I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
