Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
