I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
