Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
