Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
