my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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