I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
