Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
