508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
