is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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