Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
