Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
