so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
