I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
