please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize