At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
