We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
