got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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