some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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