Do you still have your period?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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