How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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