So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
