yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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