i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
