Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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