Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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