can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
