Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
