get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
