Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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