I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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