u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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