Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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