Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
