The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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