Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
